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bailey_smiles
16 April 2009 @ 09:25 pm
Day of Silence,  
I don't think it does anything, Gays are trying to fit in as much as normal, and bringing attention to the matter again doesn't really help. and plus, today gays are accepted a lot more than they used to be, so really bringing call back on it again would make more violence happen. People could get more angry. I believe that people shouldn't care much about the personal life of others, you know if they aren't close friends or anything. But, I do believe in gay rights, like a lot of people do in the world. I just don't think shutting up for a day does anything. It just points out 'OH HAYYYYY I SUPPORT GAYS WHAT NOW BITCH'
end of statement. thanks.
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Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: some mainstream shit
 
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bailey_smiles
05 April 2009 @ 06:12 pm
I do not post enough, I do not post enough, I do not post enough.  
Have you ever liked someone and denied it to everyone who asks you? Alright, most of us have, but then have you ever liked someone and denied it to everyone who asks you AND yourself? Fuck, I'm stressing out over little girl crushes that make me want to kill myself because they are so girly. I try to deny almost every girly thing that I do. I try to deny myself liking people because in the end you always feel crummy about it right? I hate having dreams with them in it, in dreams they just haunt me, and then for the rest of the day it can't get out of my mind. And the next day you just try and try to get it out of your head, but somehow you don't even want it to leave because it makes you smile just thinking about it. fuck. I'm so lame, entirely lame. I wish I could just forget about it. The thing is the person I think I like I know is only a friend. The funny thing is when people try to deny themselves of liking someone its usually only out of a few different reasons, being shallow the they're ugly, the non-confident my friends don't like them, and not wanting to ruin your friendship.



that is my story. end.
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Current Location: home
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: I Like Where I live
 
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bailey_smiles
24 February 2009 @ 07:10 pm
Yeah, everything is alright.  
everything is just fine.

:/ so basically, my dads really angry with me because i don't care enough about my grades. I know grades are important, and i'm trying, i'm trying as hard as i can without it having to be my whole life. I'm sick of having this drawn out life in front of me, i want to make it fun. I want to have something to actually live for. I'm sick of all these rules and guidelines and expectations. There are things i want to do in life, but to do them i'd have to change my appearance, change my way of living just to do them, I've actually had a lot of thought into working in the ER, but to work in a hospital you can't have any odd colored hair,and  they obviously wouldn't deal with my makeup. I know I'll change in the future, and i know my hair is going to change maybe i won't want to have oddly colored hair, also with tattoos and stuff.
but the kinds of jobs i could have with those things are slim, things i want to do, but :/ i don't know how well i could make a living, and plus a lot of the things i can't do just because onle a few in a handful can get those jobs, like being an artist people have to actually like  your work for you to make a profit off of it. I'd so love to be a model, but i don't think i'd make it in with being "skinny" enough, or for the fact thats also a hard job to make a living in. And i'm not talking about runway model, i'm talking about a model for photography, and/or art student modeling. Then being a writer, its practically the same as being an artist, you spend more before you make more.
fucking fuck,

the future freaks me out.

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bailey_smiles
22 February 2009 @ 11:51 am
the best way to wake up? i think so.  
Well, the story goes like this, I had stayed up until something like 6 30 in the morning, and i finally went to sleep, i didn't want to sleep very long, because that'd just ruin my day, and i'm dreaming about something, and suddenly i realize that i'm being tackled, it didn't really freak me out i thought it was just someone in my family. but I heard a giggle, and fucking knew it was Cake, and i haven't seen her for like two or so weeks so it was like DEAR GOD KATLEYN ILOVE YOU, and i still have a smile on my face. still. that girl makes me fucking smile. I love her.

yeah i stayed up until 6 30 on stickam X| you can go ahead and tell me i have no life, because i know i don't. But i had fun, some guy was having fun with a dick cursor putting it on my face, i fought back ectetra ecetra, and we made a truce :D
still, i'm in a fantastic mood. <3


I fucking love you katelyn,
i fucking love you.

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Current Location: room
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Everthing is Alright-Motion City Soundtrack
 
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bailey_smiles
21 February 2009 @ 08:31 pm
we all know.  
so, i'd like to start up a journal again, this is like what, my 100th time trying. so lets just see how this works out. I'm an easy going kid, who doesn't give a shit about much. I'm just going to make this simple for you,
i have some low self esteem,
even though i'm sure that i'm pretty and straight minded,
i'm still a stupid girl who lets those things get in the way.
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Current Location: home
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: A Bird a Sparrow
 
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